How to Deal With Your Spouse’s Mother
A marriage relationship is a long-term contract, and therefore it is essential to know the person you marry. In sickness and health, you must take each other for better or worse, richer or poorer, until death separates you. If your wife`s mother favors her child over her husband, then she will likely favor her daughter over her daughter-in-law. This is a recipe for disaster in any marriage. And it can be incredibly destructive to the bonds of love. Between parents and children. How to deal with your spouse’s mother?
Your Goal Should Help Your Wife Learn to Deal With Her Own Mother`S Attempts
To undermine and harm the marriage relationship. You can’t do it for her. But you must support her and be a strong example of how she wants to treat her husband. If your wife’s mother is not respecting you, then you need to re-evaluate the situation. Do you passively allow her mother to treat you a certain way? If so, then she will continue to do it. Instead, stand up for your rights. Don’t threaten or accuse her of anything. But calmly let her know that you won´t accept being treated poorly by her – that you don’t deserve it. And that while you love her, you will be a full partner. With your wife in making decisions in your relationship and family.
The Mother-In-Law Problem Is Often About Issues Left Unresolved Between the Daughters of the Mother and Their Mothers
During their growing up years. Now, as mothers themselves, they are already saddled with taking care of their children. And unconsciously they resent the burden of taking care of someone else’s child. You can’t resolve that issue for her. But you should be active in encouraging your wife to deal with it on her own.
It Is Not Uncommon for Mothers-In-Law to Cause Problems Between Husbands and Wives During Pregnancy
Many women seem to believe that it is their role to discipline the pregnant women in their families. When you were dating your wife, her mother may have seemed like a nice woman. But if she starts trying to control how you treat each other now, then she wasn’t so lovely after all. She has violated the integrity of the marriage relationship and used this opportunity to continue manipulating her daughter. Her behaviour is most likely driven by unresolved anger or jealousy towards you and your wife’s father.
If She Wouldn’t Try to Control How You Treat Each Other if You Were Not Pregnant
Then it is an excuse for her lack of personal integrity. She wants to be the one who decides how other people should treat each other. Your goal is to show her that you are both solid adults and will be good parents to your children. It would be best to let her know calmly. But firmly and in a loving tone of voice. No yelling or cursing. – That she needs to start respecting the integrity of your relationship.
Pregnancy Also Stirs up Unresolved Issues About Her Mothering Years and How Her Mother Treated Her
Either during pregnancy or immediately after the child’s birth. Pregnant women often have mixed feelings about their mothers. Because they feel that it is not fair to be so critical of her. Not when the baby will be born to her as well. The first step towards dealing with the mother-in-law problem is for you and your wife. To support each other in taking good care of yourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually during your pregnancy. That will help you be healthy and whole people when the baby arrives.
You Want to Encourage Your Wife to Work on Her Issues With Her Mother Daily
It would help if you also let your wife know. That you will not accept being mistreated by her mother. Deal with it yourself first. And then if she persists in trying to push your buttons. Calmly tell her that you are supportive of the way your wife is dealing. With things between herself and her mother. Remind her that you and your wife are a team now. And you will make all of the decisions for your family together. She may not like hearing that. But if she respects herself as a mature adult, then she won’t try to come between you and your wife anymore.
Most Women Seem to Believe That It Is Their Job to Pass On Their Religious Beliefs From Generation to Generation
The truth is that it isn’t her business how you choose to raise your children. As long as they are being presented with love and respect for themselves and others. She is probably asking you all kinds of questions because she wants you to teach them those values in a way that she couldn’t. Either because of her own life experiences or because she never learned them herself.
You and Your Wife Need to Love Each Other and Take Care of Yourselves
This will help you be healthy and whole people when the baby arrives. You want to encourage your wife to work on her own issues with her mother on a daily basis. But you must also let your wife know that you will not accept being treated badly by her mother. Deal with it yourself first, and then if she persists in trying to push your buttons, calmly tell her that you are supportive of the way your wife is dealing with things between herself and her mother. Remind her that you and your wife are a team now and you will make all of the decisions for your family together. She may not like hearing that, but if she respects herself as a mature adult, then she won’t try to come between you and your wife any more.